COMING ATTRACTIONS
many in the industry are wagering that this weekend's release of the heavily anticipated summer tent-pole attraction, captain shit (remake of the television program), will give the market a much-needed shot in the arm following a long string of high-profile studio products bombing at the box office. after blizzards of promotional campaigns, very few audiences have been showing up as expected for this summer's assortment of products, featuring the very latest in sensory-assaulting technology. shittingbots, the remake of last year's successful blasting-shit, had extra explosions digitally added to the backgrounds of most of its scenes following studio test screenings, yet still performed poorly at the box office. "i don't understand it. our movies have the most visual effects in them and we are using only the most expensive computers available to generate them on. i double-checked, they are top of the line. we are spending as much money as we can. people must just not like movies anymore," noted one studio executive.