Thank You for Your Business!
you are a lovely target market
If collection proceedings are required, the buyer herein will be responsible to seller for attorney's fees and court costs incurred plus 15% per month (180% per annum) on any unpaid principle balances in the event of a default under the terms of payment herein. Minimum order $50.00. Re-stocking fee 30%. NO RETURNS WILL BE ACCEPTED.
you are intelligent enough to make your own money, but not intelligent enough to know how to spend it. you're welcome.
In the "event" of a water landing, please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle as it disentigrates into a hundred million sparkly burning bits.