(i am not your) dogfood pony
he rolled over, still groggy from the night before, slowly remembering who and where he was. he rubbed his eyes and regarded his nightstand with a bewildered stare. the candleholders were neatly stacked. the ghost had struck again.

she makes you stupid.

i gave you elvis. you gave me
urinary tract infection.

i can't stop eating these damn things

DIRECTIONS - drop in your sink with warm water. In five minutes it will turn into a miniature sponge the shape of a rhino. Enjoy

1 - on her way to work this morning, shelby began hallucinating wildly.

2 - at the corner of state and main street, she thought there was a little man trying to fly into her eye. this caused her to speed up and swerve the car recklessly. she took a left turn at walnut village and careened straight past the giant waving rabbit.

3 - the pedestrians were alarmed. "look out!" they exclaimed.
("we are in peril!" "i am alarmed!")

4 - shelby, however, saw nothing but PONIES.