journal page 1

march 24, 1999

there's this homeless guy i've been seeing around town. that came out wrong. there's this homeless guy i've been noticing around town. he's always covered from head to toe in black leather, despite the santa barbara sun. no inch of skin is ever exposed. black gloves, black boots, black jacket, black scarf, and an enormous black wraparound gasmask with opaque goggles and black hood, covering his entire head. the first time i saw him i was taking a break from animating "lily and jim" in 1997. i was exiting the bad taco bell near the sound studio and gas mask guy sort of staggers past me and waves a crumpled one dollar bill at the girl behind the counter and says, "guuuh." moments later i am entering my car and a fat woman in a pantsuit hastily exits with her food, pretending to be completely oblivious to gas mask guy, who is following her waving an empty pepsi cup.

a few months later i find him lurching around the grocery store with a basket that appears to be carrying only peanut butter. he would stop motionless in an aisle to just stare at people, petrifying all the little kids. and the beauty of it was how everyone just pretended he didn't exist at all. they just went about their shopping as though they couldn't see him, yanking their saucer-eyed kids along. he was most recently spotted wandering between cars that were stopped at a light. he'd walk right up to somebody's window and peer inside. drivers stared ahead, suddenly transfixed by the trunk of the car in front of them. they felt the need to mess with their radio, bend down to tie their shoes, or try to make a lane change in stopped traffic. gas mask guy has unlocked the key to invisibility by running in the complete opposite direction.
- why the gask mask?
- where does he come from?
- how can we get him elected to public office?


march 21, 1999
really late/early
i lucked out last week and only had to drive to LA once for the latest round of studio meetings. aside from the traffic and the lizard people who have lost their souls i think i've put my finger on what it is exactly that bothers me about LA. the central vibe that runs beneath everything there is pretty much, "go away, i hate you," particularly the "go away" part. it's maybe a california thing that i don't really notice anywhere else. most cities have those downtown areas or city centers or sort of public nucleus places where people traditionally gather and hang around. like a happy town square with the big stone elf water fountain. most modern places have nothing like this anymore. everything is very isolated and designed for cars instead of people. nobody wants anybody anywhere, there's lots of shooing you along from one place to another. no benches, no loitering, no places to sit, no places to park, no elf fountains, no places to just be. if you can find a bench you'll notice it's weirdly barrel-shaped so homeless people can't sleep on them. curbs and planter boxes are subtly angled or have spikes on them so you can't sit down. keep moving, you can't stay here. if you want to park in this garage it's going to cost a million dollars. a nice-looking suburb has signs on every lawn and window: armed security response, guard dogs, 24 hour security, use of deadly force. miniature fortresses, closed off and contained. keep moving. gated communities surrounded by security surveillance and barbed wire. does anybody really like living like this?

march 17, 1999

thanks to everyone for helping put together this little website. i know nothing about computers. mine is a glowing magic box. i use rock and stick. fire bad. i'm not sure what this is all for yet. work is underway animating the new thing so there will be a great many late nights to share bleary eyed delusions with all of you


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